Shared with me today by a very dear collaborator, several of us found this Civil War era love letter profoundly touching; and that's saying something--because a great many of these bygone letters are highly eloquent, moving and altogether romantic, either despite or because of the circumstances in which they were written.

While most of our politicians are doing their best, it does seem as though they lose their way more often than they find it...bickering, grandstanding, politicking, posturing, oversimplifying, overcomplicating, spinning, subterfuging, zero-summing.  And all, allegedly, under the guise of 'good faith negotiations' and at the behest of some vague, amorphous electorate who issued an oft-invoked referendum on taxing and spending.

Though I write tonight while Congress haggles over increasing the U.S. debt ceiling, leadership squabbles--and political ones--are timeless and unceasing. 

For this reason alone, I personally find Major Ballou's letter to his wife, Sarah, a great reminder of why patriots do what they do.  Or should. 

It's a clarion call, indeed--or a North Star, or a lighthouse, or a touchstone or, at the very least, a glimmer that catches one's attention and brings his eyes back to the road.

I'm sure it will do the same for you: MyVeryDearSarah.pdf (141.70 kb)

My wife received the neatest card today from our eight-year-old daughter's tutor:

I doubt you're quite as gobsmacked as I was when I read it, but I think it's breathtaking.

As parents, of course, we expect the tutoring that Lauren receives to primarily support and amplify her classroom schoolwork, but this beautiful card serves as a testament to the many 'secondary' lessons she is also learning.  (Arguably, the lessons we learn outside the books are even more important in life, are they not?  Of course they are.  Anyone will win that argument 10 times out of 10 with half his brain cells tied behind his frontal lobe.)

Several colleagues and I were beneficiaries of a very similar 'secondary lesson' just this past week. 

In conversation with a beloved client, one of my teammates offered herself up to deliver a handful of additional days as part of a programmatic evaluation.  The unanticipated days will require more research and additional focus groups, phone outbriefs and several 1-to-1 coaching appointments.  No small commitments, any of them.  And not chump change to our organization, either.  By using her here, we forfeit the opportunity to benefit from her efforts elsewhere.

Unfortunately, our contract with this client is nearing its expiration date--and its ceiling.  There are simply no more funds to be secured.

But it is clear to us--and clear to this peerless colleague of ours--that "executing this unprojected work is the right thing to do."  It's right for the participants and right for the sponsoring organization.  (Without it, we won't satisfactorily scratch our collective OCD itch.  Several of us live by the mantra, "In God we Trust.  All Others, Bring Data.")

So...we're doing it.  Pro Bono.  (Or, to give credit where credit is due, she's doing it.  And we all support her, just as she has supported each of us on those occasions when we did what we believed was right, regardless the cost.)

Throughout this offer, the client--our partner--was insistent about negotiating in good faith and honoring the original contract.  They did not request the additional work and were very concerned about our offering to deliver it outside the scope.  In my own words, they were essentially saying, "We accept this with happy hands, appreciating immeasurably what you are doing for our people--and hoping that you never feel taken advantage of in our relationship."

We do not, of course.  And their attitude affirms that we have made the right decision and reminds us all, for the 334th time, that "choosing the right clients" is second only to "choosing the right team."

(Honey and Vinegar, indeed.  The line of 'consultants' waiting to serve this and similar clients is particularly long, because we all know what it's like to collaborate with bossholes and black holes for whom "good enough..." never is.  Those vampiric sorts of relationships result in nothing less than dried-out carcasses on both sides of the road.)

And call it what you will, but reciprocity--karma--the boomerang effect--whatever...is in full swing.  Always has been, always will be.

This very week, I have been a Denzel Washington Man On Fire, absolutely consumed with yet another project that, at midnight after midnight, can feel 100% bottomless.  Periodically, I have nightmares where I'm swimming through a stadium of dried black-eyed peas.  (And not the musical kind.)  Each void created by my hands scooping forward is filled the moment I draw them back.  My preliminary list of >30 to-do's became 40, then 50 and now stands at 76.  Just as I prepare to strike items from my list, another half-dozen materialize before my very eyes.

What's the first rule of holes?  "If you are in one, stop digging."

I wish.

So here we are, several of us, eyeball-deep in this other project and minding the budget like a pack of mongooses.  A couple of the internal tasks we require are pretty amorphous, and each of the individuals focused on these tasks has been very careful to avoid letting a snack become a meal.  (I have the great fortunate of being surrounded by stewards all the way down the line.)

As I'm visiting with these two particular colleagues yesterday, they both say, "We'll finish our parts for free."

"I can't let you do that," I counter.  "It was my error; I mis-scoped the project and I'll take the hit."

"No, you've done right by both of us all along the way, Blake.  It's the least we can do.  We'll make it up another time."

In the end, we split things right down the middle and, as the 'ol song says, "Four days late but right on time."

As a direct result of their professionalism, selflessness and generous spirit, I see thousands of gallons of black-eyed peas swirling away and downward before me.  The entire project can now be wrapped up in a matter of days and, thanks to the finest colleagues in the field, we'll squeak through in the black and rise yet again like the proverbial phoenix. 

Believe it or not, every word of this brings me back, full circle, to that one tiny penny. 

The sort of penny that, today--comprised of 97.5% zinc--isn't even worth one cent.  And yet, in the hands of a precious tutor, is worth its weight in gold.

Why?

Because this one penny, seemingly negligible at a couple grams (and hardly worth bending over to pick up in a parking lot), is a massive reminder that, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

True partners, be they internal, external, professional or scholastic, absolutely nail it at both the micro and macro levels. 

And in doing so, they remind us there is a fourth way to empty the swimming pool, one that is both faster and more efficient than scooping, shoveling or bilging: allow the gravity of partnership to beat weight at its own game--by draining it.

Several days ago while differentiating Good vs. Poor Leaders, I committed to write a bit more about leadership. 

In keeping that commitment, allow me to share the following model which has proven helpful for several groups over the years.

Beyond 'arguably,' there are certainly a number of key leadership competencies unaccounted for here (like systems thinking and change), but we can dive into those another time.

What the model here does do, and simply, is capture 2 key axes, 4 diverse endpoints...and all this while reminding the leader the importance of stability.

Let's start with the 2 axes, Results and Relationships. 

Notionally, the premise of Results and Relationships (like Yin and Yang) alerts leaders to mind these two very unique yet interrelated dimensions. 

On the one hand, great leaders have got to be adequate (or, more ideally, exceptional) relationship-builders.  For those leaders who like to think programmatically, linearly or via 'building blocks,' understanding that he or she can build relationships in two ways often proves constructive. 

For example, on the one hand, a leader can build and improve relationships by focusing on how he or she Collaborates with others.  Collaborate is a straightforward word -- it means to "co-labor" or "work together."  Two practical ways to think about this include: (1)People do not resist their own ideas and (2)People like to see their photo...or 'DNA' in the scrapbook.  In short, to be a better leader, co-labor with others in ways that allow them to contribute and see their contributions.  It's as simple as that, and yet a huge portion of the 'leadership population' does not operate this way.  Instead, they place themselves at the center of everything, marginalizing those around them as grunts and missing tremendous opportunities to facilitate dialogue, contribution, better solutions and support.

A second way for a leader to build and improve relationships is through Communication.  Here's a neat way to think about communication: (1)Awareness occurs through the senses, (2)Understanding occurs in the mind, (3)Belief occurs in the heart and (4)Behavior occurs through the hands.  Pragmatically, this means more than time permits us to unpack today...but imagine a company that seeks to 'communicate' through posters in the cafeteria, name badges, mouse pads or screen savers.  Will people be 'aware' of the company's direction?  Perhaps.  But will they integratively understand, believe and demonstrate that direction daily?  It's doubtful.  To improve the odds, the organization should learn to communicate in ways that involve people and breathe life into the ideologies by animating and modeling beliefs and behaviors.  The Confucius maxim, "I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand" holds water.

But communication is about a lot more than 'spewing or sensing.'  I believe that, as is the case our entire lives, we learn more by doing than seeing or hearing.  Said more plainly, if you want to communicate effectively, involve another person in the decision-making or delegation of a task.  (Like mathematics, you don't really know whether I understand the problem's nuances until I show my work.)  And while I have you here, let me add one more morsel: Deciding and Delegating are two of our strongest methodologies for Developing people.  Lots of leaders 'miss' this, making too many decisions themselves or seeing delegation as a way to clear their plate.  This is a huge mistake.  Instead, approach each task and ask yourself, "How can this serve as a developmental opportunity for someone else, too?"  Then, draw others into the decision-making process or delegation loop purposefully.  (The sign of a great leader is increasing irrelevance.  The sign of a poor leader is unending dependence.  Great parents teach this, starting with removing the training wheels.) 

Continuing now, any leader must accomplish results.  I have often viewed results as occurring across two common categories of activities, distinguishable along a scale of management and leadership.  The teeter-totter image below should prove a helpful tool for your further consideration of this idea. 

At the core of the first model, though, are values & ethics.  These alone are an entire field of inquiry that Aristotle himself didn't finish pondering.  One's own values and ethics warrant a lifetime of exploration and commitment.  They unquestionably serve as our compass' True North position, without which we wander, wonder and succumb to all manner of mirages and temptations.

I know it's not true in the purest sense, but I have always been predisposed to believe that if it's easy or convenient, it's probably wrong.  Those things in life which prove virtuous or right generally seem to be more difficult or inconvenient.  Diet, exercise, discipline, meaningful communication, giving others the benefit of the doubt, turning the other cheek, being selfless, meeting others' expectations, checking one's work, proofreading, going slowly now to go faster later, saving money, finishing one's homework proactively rather than procrastinating, loving thine enemy, living a whole and undivided life (walking the talk), dying unto oneself, checking one's ego at the door, truly listening (vs. reloading), being creative rather than a revisionist....  These are difficult things, and right.

In summary then, if you aspire to be a better leader, don't forget these 'minima:' Create better relationships through more purposeful collaboration and communication.  Achieve results through a proper mixture of management and leadership.  And all the while, drop your anchor deep into a stable, unchanging bedrock of consistent values and ethics.

Do these and you'll be more consciously-competent than half the leaders on the field.

On my last trip to the great northwest, I had the distinct displeasure and responsibility of working with a very angry, broken team.  I will share a brief synopsis of my adventure’s lowlights and highlights, should they benefit you when faced with a similar constellation of dysfunctions.  

The vast majority of teams (because they are, at their most elemental level, coalitions of individuals) face the pedestrian and routine issues of ‘poor communication, periodic conflict, unclear direction, and too few resources.’  These challenges almost go without mentioning because they are as natural and inevitable as hunger, ideological differences, and war.  Though we may desire they not exist, to deny them is naïve, idealistic, and fantasy.  Wherever resources and minds co-exist, so too will opinions and differences of opinion – and subsequently divisive priorities, power, control, hierarchy, and struggles.  These are realities of the human condition and only Utopia, Shangri-La, and Heaven lack them. 

Any leader’s challenge (and opportunity) is to reduce, manage, or redirect differences toward things which are – on balance – more constructive than destructive. 

The leader of the team with which I worked was, however, plagued with an overabundance of challenges.  In addition to the ‘typical four’ described above, he faced a range of others, from in-office harassment claims, grievances, and physical fisticuffs to an employee lawsuit, intra-office dating, theft, and a caustic grapevine that thrived on jealousies, half-truths and mean-spiritedness.  In the particulate, none of these is all that unique or necessarily insurmountable, but in the aggregate, they formed a furious storm. 

As he said to the team when we first convened, “Some people would rather judge others and throw rocks than follow; these people don’t make good employees – but they make great critics and derelicts.  Regardless, I will not be deterred.  We’re not leaving this room today until each of you decides to get on board, off, or run the risk of getting run over.” 

And with that, I thought we were surely cooked turkeys.  Such toothpaste rarely returns to the tube. 

For nearly three hours, we heard each team member’s grievances and complaints.  The leader had been clear from the start, “What is not aired here will not be aired elsewhere again.  I have met with each and every one of you and [our HR person] offline on countless occasions, and now it’s time to address the issues affecting our team as a whole and this organization from the inside out.”    

The emotions and feelings on that day of reckoning ran the gamut, from a sense of betrayal, belligerence, and frustration to indifference, haughty arrogance, and depression.  It was true, each person thought he or she could run the team better; they all wanted to be chiefs.  

Given the circumstances, the besieged leader did a remarkable job.  I was impressed with his directness, astuteness, and willingness to be critiqued.  “Get it all out,” he said repeatedly.  And boy, did they.  He was relentless, and they responded in kind. 

Spitting in the cup, clawing the air, knocking peers, evil-eyes, rolling eyes, crossing arms, bouncing legs, pacing against the back wall, pounding fists, scribbling pens, pointing fingers, shouting, accusing, blaming, denying, hiding, conspiring, ganging-up… before the morning was done, I’m certain we’d seen all that could be seen without needing to summon the security guard. 

I stepped in repeatedly – facilitating, guiding, berming, and doing my best to referee and bring things to a healthy head without allowing any faction to overrule or any individual to be overwhelmed.  The meeting and its inherent conflicts were destined to occur, I reasoned, so my responsibility was to do everything in my power to keep the wheels on the rails. 

As the team of apparent vipers bared their fangs and spit their venom, two quotes hooked through my mind like a one-track record: 

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."  (William Congreve)  

“All those who have been wronged, or believe themselves to be wronged are terrible, for they ceaselessly seek revenge.”  (Aristotle)  

This was unquestionably a team which felt they had been wronged by one another, their boss, and their organization at various turns in the tracks.  They had become vengeance-seeking individuals, no doubt.  And yet, somehow – miraculously – a team destined to be redeemed.  A team of people, remember, and people needing to be heard and healed.   

Even the largest lion, when thwarted by the smallest splinter in its paw, welcomes a mouse. 

Real-world redemption began late in the afternoon. 

And it began with an admission. 

And an admission was followed by an apology. 

And one apology was followed by a second. 

And apologies were followed by mea culpas. 

And in time, the boil was lanced.  And it flowed.  And sooner than I have seen before when facing similarly intractable circumstances, it was drained and began the long and arduous process of healing. 

Two team members resigned, not only from the team but the organization itself, confessing they could never forgive.  Their slights, wounds, and nefariously competitive aspirations ran too deep. 

One team member was terminated forthwith, having violated too many organizational policies and being exposed. 

A half-dozen team members, having fully ‘dumped their buckets,’ arrived at the much needed place where rationality finally trumps emotionality.   

And the rest, having admitted their ‘enabling’ of the scheming and undermining and lashing-out behind the leader’s back resolved to be accountable for their behavior.  ‘Get-Well Plans’ were developed, ‘Action Items’ were documented, and for two final hours, the team’s remaining members did the most amazing thing… they spoke peacefully, respectfully, and with an energy that was constructive and positive rather than bitter and contemptuous. 

They listened, they heard, and they responded.  

Three weeks later, I joined a conference call with the team.  “We just wanted to let you know how much things have improved.  Those who could no longer support [our leader] and our team have moved on, where they are much happier and healthier.  And we have come together.  Our performance has improved dramatically, we are drama-free, and ‘outsiders’ are taking notice – so much so that we have a long list of candidates to fill the vacated spots.  Our reputation, it seems, is improving.” 

And perhaps most meaningfully to me (at least from a personal standpoint), one of the women on the team commented, “Blake, I haven’t been sick the past three Sundays.”  She had told me (in the weeks preceding the ‘come-to-Jesus blowout meeting’) how violently ill she became on most Sunday afternoons – undoubtedly in anticipation of Monday mornings and rejoining the war.  (Our bodies, by the way, are wonderful barometers of our stress.  I encourage you to listen to yours.)   

Eighty percent of my vocation, it seems, is spent at the tails of the bell curve.  I am rarely called in by ‘average organizations, teams, and individuals wishing to accomplish average results.’  I am, most often, called in by ‘those in crisis’ and ‘those of excellence.’  The former need resolution and the latter seek perfection.  (I equate this to fitness, as well.  The very fit, world-class athletes are constantly exercising and working to improve while the sedentary or at-risk are motivated to seek help after the heart attack or other near-disaster.  Either way, both groups are taking action.  Meanwhile, the majority of us simply carry on, status quo, with the usual motivators of pleasure and pain remaining too minimal to incent.) 

Spending time at these tails means, predictably, that for all my experiences of excellence and A-team performance, I correspondingly have had what amounts to a trove of challenging assignments.  A small portion of these can barely be described without considering the words ‘wickedness’ or ‘evil.’ 

During those quiet flights home afterward, when I feel more like a priest having concluded an exorcism, I am careful to distinguish what I have experienced from ‘typical’ behavior.  Teams ‘on the edge’ are, after all, people who have often lost their way like Darth Vader, succumbing to the darkness bit by bit, trial by trial, and temptation by temptation.  Few people, save the sociopath, set sail for the dark side intentionally.  Instead, they typically find it when they find nothing else. 

Many philosophers have, in various ways, expressed the same notion.  “Only by darkness do we know the light.” 

I am comforted by the reality that I have witnessed many teams return, astonishingly, to the tube.  We must be careful that the ‘L’ on the forehead and the ‘A’ on the sweater not become self-fulfilling prophecies of Our Gang’s “The Little Rascals” or Welcome Back Kotter’s “Sweathogs.” 

With admissions, apologies, ownership of wrongdoings, mea culpas, forgiveness, liberations or excisions as necessary, hope, and plans, most teams can make it back to the light. 

And it is after such returns that I get a bit of myself back and remember why I do what I do in the first place, despite its inherent risks and difficulties.  With others’ reputations, fulfillment, health, and performance restored, I find that something equally important is reliably restored along the way: my own faith in people and their capacity to do right.